Does your child have yo-yo self-esteem?

Posted on Mar 10, 2016 in Coaching tips for parents | 0 comments

Does your child have yo-yo self-esteem?

Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the grades she makes? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day? Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if he makes a mistake? If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem — self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life. How kids feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them. However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life). Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you — who you are and how you think about yourself. When kids base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives. So if your children have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus? Here are the first three of six tips for helping your kids develop solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life: 1. First talk with them about what self-esteem is. Teach them that self-esteem is based on who they are, not what they do. 2. Second, teach them how to separate the results of an event from who they are. For example, if they fail a test, that is just an event – something that happened. Just because they failed a test, doesn’t mean they are a failure. It just means they didn’t learn the material well enough to get the right answers on the majority of the questions – that’s it. Let your kids know that it’s OK to feel down; however, there is a difference between feeling down about a bad grade and feeling down on yourself because of a bad grade. Help your children understand this distinction and their self-esteem will flourish. 3. Third, teach them about the dangers of comparison. When kids compare themselves to others – seeing themselves as “better than” or “less than” another, they are looking externally to determine how to feel about themselves. This sets them up for yo-yo self-esteem because they will feel good about themselves whenever they see themselves as “better than” another and they will feel bad about themselves every time they see themselves as “less than” another. This not only devastates self-esteem, but also creates jealousy, resentment, and a belief system of “not good enough”. Unfortunately self-esteem isn’t something you can give your kids; however, it is something you can teach them to develop in themselves. Start today by sharing these first three tips with them. In the next article we will cover the last three tips. With love and blessings Teresa da Silva -Certified Wisdom Coach   Copyright © 2011 Renaye...

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Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?

Posted on Mar 10, 2016 in Coaching tips for parents | 0 comments

Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?

  Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the grades she makes? Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day? Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if he makes a mistake? If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem — self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life. How kids feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them. However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life). Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you — who you are and how you think about yourself. When kids base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives. So if your children have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus? Here are the first three of six tips for helping your kids develop solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life: 1. First talk with them about what self-esteem is. Teach them that self-esteem is based on who they are, not what they do. 2. Second, teach them how to separate the results of an event from who they are. For example, if they fail a test, that is just an event – something that happened. Just because they failed a test, doesn’t mean they are a failure. It just means they didn’t learn the material well enough to get the right answers on the majority of the questions – that’s it. Let your kids know that it’s OK to feel down; however, there is a difference between feeling down about a bad grade and feeling down on yourself because of a bad grade. Help your children understand this distinction and their self-esteem will flourish. 3. Third, teach them about the dangers of comparison. When kids compare themselves to others – seeing themselves as “better than” or “less than” another, they are looking externally to determine how to feel about themselves. This sets them up for yo-yo self-esteem because they will feel good about themselves whenever they see themselves as “better than” another and they will feel bad about themselves every time they see themselves as “less than” another. This not only devastates self-esteem, but also creates jealousy, resentment, and a belief system of “not good enough”. Unfortunately self-esteem isn’t something you can give your kids; however, it is something you can teach them to develop in themselves. Start today by sharing these first three tips with them. In the next article we will cover the last three tips. With love and blessings Teresa da Silva -Certified Wisdom Coach   Copyright © 2011...

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What type of grownup do you want your child to become?

Posted on Mar 5, 2016 in Blog, Coaching tips for parents | 0 comments

What type of grownup do you want your child to become?

What type of grownup do you want your child to become?   I was asked this question several years ago and it was a very powerful question for me so I wanted to share it with you. Like you, I was already an engaged and connected parent; however, taking a few minutes to actually write down my vision for my kids enabled me to see areas where I was spending a lot of time and areas where I wanted to focus more. Although we can’t guarantee how our kids will “turn out”, every interaction we have with them does shape their lives – especially when they are young and their core thoughts and belief systems are being formed. I would like to invite you to spend about 10 minutes today thinking about this question and creating a vision for your parenting if you don’t already have one. As part of the exercise, you may want to use the “Balance Wheel”. The Balance Wheel is a coaching tool that is used to assess various areas of your life for balance – emotional, social/community, spiritual, occupational/school/financial, mental, physical, family, and recreational. Depending on your children’s ages you may even want to share your vision with them — sharing your vision can help them understand why you make the decisions you make (such as why you don’t buy them a toy every time you take them to the grocery store, why they have household responsibilities, or why you don’t serve cookies for dinner).       Have fun with this exercise. P.S. Invite your spouse to go through the exercise as well. You may be surprised! Teresa da Silva – Certified Wisdom Coach     Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission from Renaye...

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My Story and Spiritual Journey

Posted on Feb 26, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

My name is Teresa, I am Portuguese, and current living in Canada. I am 40 years old, happily married and a proud mother of 3 beautiful children. I spent the last 8 years of my life doing the most important job in the world, being a mom, and even though I love being a full time mom and I was fortunate enough to be able to do it, my heart always told me that I had a bigger purpose to fulfill. My spiritual journey started many years ago when I started questioning the most important things in life. I questioned things about God – Who are we? What is the purpose of life? What happens after death? And so on. I have read many different books and followed the work of many amazing teachers like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch, Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra, Esther-Abraham Hicks, Dr. Brian Weiss, Dr.Bruce Lipton, Gregg Brendon, and many many others. They all lead me to the same conclusion that “We all are Spiritual Beings living a Human experience”; that our thoughts, feelings and beliefs create our reality; that we live in a loving and supporting Universe where everything is energy; and that we are first and foremost vibrational Beings and that Divine Love is our true essence. That we are all part of just One Divine Consciousness and there is no separation and that God and us are One. God is nothing but Unconditional Pure Love Energy that lives inside each and everyone one of us – always, always speaking to us. He is that beautiful subtle voice in our hearts, that sometimes is so difficult for us to listen to. That our only purpose is to connect with that Source within us so we can raise our vibrations to be the Love, Joy, Happiness and Bliss that our True Self already is; and then from that state of Being we can deliberately create the life of our dreams. When I was young, my life was not easy, I had to overcame many difficult times and obstacles, that affected my self esteem and sense of self-worthiness but I always had this urge to help and inspire others, even before I had any knowledge about the Law of Attraction or the Divine Universal Laws. I had this strong belief and trust in the Power of Unconditional Love, and always used that to help others when they came to me for support. Friends used to call me romantic, or dreamy, but my heart refused to think any other way. I always had this deep belief within my heart that LOVE was the answer for everything, and I always followed my heart. I can honestly tell you that I have no regrets. Even during the hardest and most painful moments when I thought of giving up on life, the belief that one day I...

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Creating Solutions

Posted on Jan 22, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

We notice that there are so many people who are living life in a very conditional way. They look out and they see things that are wonderful and they say “yes we want more of those, we would vote for that, we would support that with our time and energy and money”, but then they look out and they see things that they do not want, terrible things that they do not want to live and that they do not want to see others live, and they say “we’ve got to do something about getting rid of those things”, but they don’t realize that as they push against the unwanted, they add power to it. In this world there is a war against poverty, and a war against cancer, and a war against teenage pregnancy, and a war against terrorism, and a war against violence, and a war against terrorism.. did we mention that there is a war against terrorism? And all of this pushing against, is only adding-to, because you can’t say no and make it go away. When you shout “NO!”, the law of attraction is lining that up. Abraham-Hicks         Food for thought We can not create the solution with the same energy that creates the problem.”Likes attract likes” meaning the energy we send out (individually and collective) is the energy we will get back, it’s the law there is no other way. The Universe doesn’t judge it ,it only responds to the vibration we are sending by sending back situations with same frequency.The more we push and fight and talk and complain and get angry about the problems the more energy we are collectively giving it and feeding to the problem, unconsciously we are giving more power and make it bigger because we will only attract more of the same. That’s why despise the fact that more than 80% of the world population never wanted wars; terrorism, poverty, hate, diseases, we haven’t been able to get rid of the problems because instead of sending love and blessings to those situations we fight them,we fear them and hate them and complain about them and that is the same energy that create them in the first place.We have been living from many centuries now with the predominant energy of FEAR, living with a ego fear based thinking mind, focusing most of our energy in the things we don’t like rather than the things we like, and to see changes we have to wake up,let go of old beliefs system that doesn’t serves anymore, and create new ones that empower us,that empower our dreams and desires and that will helps us open our consciousness to the higher energies of Love,Joy, Gratitude and Compassion . God is Love, Pure Unconditional Love Energy and SO DO WE, but we have take on a Ego, but our pure...

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Meditation

Posted on Jan 6, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

  Meditation is the only way to connect with the Divine Source within you, you can’t do it with your mind, you can only do it in stillness. Meditation is a vital practice to access conscious contact with your highest self, it allows you to listen your inner wisdom, your own divine power and regain the power of intention. I meditate daily,  is part of my day to day routine, I make it a priority and I absolutely love it, I encourage you all to try to practice as well and experience the immense benefits and inner peace that will come with it. With love and peace, ~Teresa~ “We cannot expect to be in control of the circumstances in our lives when we cannot control our minds for five minutes. Meditation is the daily minimum requirement that will prevent us from breaking down and falling apart at the most inopportune moments. It is the art of listening. It is a practice which enables us to tune in and fine-tune the key areas of our lives: the mind and the spirit.” Iyanla...

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